Monday, April 20, 2009

Disappointment

Husband finally heard back on Friday from the second and last interview he had for a Tenure Track job. He didn't get it. It wasn't so much of a surprise, since the successful candidate was supposed to hear back nearly a month ago, but I guess I figured as long as he didn't hear no, there was still a chance. Now, it's really final. There won't be a tenure track job for him. So now what do we do? He tells me that actually the longer it went without hearing back from them, the less convinced he was that he actually wanted the job, so the final decision actually comes as a bit of a relief, if for no other reason that now he's no longer stuck in limbo and can move on to something else. Sure he could stay in his current toxic environment longer and squeek out another paper, sure he could take a 2nd postdoc and try for TT job again in a few years. But he's already in one of the top labs in the world in his field and has a C/N/S paper from him postdoc. If that's not enough, why would he expect it to get better? I totally understand that, and acknowledge that there aren't enough TT jobs out there for everyone, and even that maybe it's not the path for Husband. I just wish he/I/we knew what WAS the right path and how to get there. So now we're facing a two body problem of totally different conditions than I thought we might... two unemployed at least temp stay at home parents-to-be with no health insurance does not a healthy family make. I'm stressed, the bad dreams have started again and I'm trying to fight the anxiety but I'm just not sure how. ugh. what a way to start the week huh? I'm sure it's just a bad day, and things will get better. I just wish I really knew that 100% for sure.

5 comments:

  1. That sucks. This kind of situation is so unpleasant because you know it will work out in the end, but getting to that point is so uncomfortable. I hate uncertainty.

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  2. Oh Jenn, I'm sorry. I hate uncertainty too, and it just seems to be the way it is right now which SUCKS. I am really wishing you and your husband good luck. Hope things become more certain and better soon.

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  3. hugs, Jenn. I'm sorry that you are in limbo, but things will work out in the end. This is a really tough year to be on the job market, but there will be a light at the end of the tunnel. Hope you and your husband can creatively and compassionately figure out how to stay afloat until the right things come along.

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  4. I'm sorry things aren't going very well right now :( Living in uncertainty is frustrating. Hopefully things will start coming together soon for you!

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  5. I am really sorry, this must be very hard for you. On the other hand, babies are cheap (except for insurance) and portable. They also grow and mature at an alarming rate during their first year on earth. This experience is priceless. I hope there's a way you can get insurance though.

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